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Dear Lane Bryant:

Let me state, first of all, I genuinely appreciate the attention you have lavished on the plus-size community throughout the years. However, as you certainly do realize, we have reciprocated by investing our hard earned money into your company. I also appreciate the many options of items for sale in huge contrast to the normally dowdy granny wear we can find at many of the other retailers that have “plus-size” departments. However, as a longtime customer (and former employee) of Lane Bryant, I have to say that over the past year, I have finally reached my breaking point and Lane Bryant, I think we need to take a break.

Now don’t cry. I know we've been close for, what is it now, close to 20 years. However, you've changed, Lane Brant. So hear me when I say that we do, indeed, need a break. No, I'm thinking it's a bit more than a Ross/Rachel “break” - more like we're on the verge of a break up. Why you ask? Well, let me cite a few items of concern that need to be addressed:

1) Sizing

About two months ago, while browsing through a Lane Bryant in Central Florida, a woman came into the store absolutely enamored with a jacket displayed in the window. Immediately, your Lane Bryant associate pounced on her, sensing fresh meat. The woman, you could tell, didn’t shop at Lane Bryant normally, however she wanted that jacket. The customer told the Lane Bryant Associate of her wish to have that jacket and, when asked what size, the customer said “I wear a 12”. The Lane Bryant Manager who was nearby answered, rather snottily, “Well in here you would be either a size 14 or 16.”. The woman, rather distraught replied “But I Wear A 12!” Again, the manager rebuffed her, saying with a hint of arrogance “Lane Bryant changed its sizing this year. In here, you are either a size 14 or 16.”. The customer then promptly walked out - without the jacket.

This exchanged confirmed my suspicions as to recent sizing issues. I have noticed that a 14/16 top is now an 18/20. Size 20 bottoms can either go to a 22 or a 24 depending on the cut. Your blouses do not allow for upper arms, cutting off one’s circulation worse than a blood pressure cuff. And, as a plus-size fashionista, Lane Bryant, please realize that some women DO have cleavage and account for it. When I go to put on a shirt, it must go OVER the boobs if I have to put it on over my head. The same goes for those that button up - it must button OVER the boobs as well. It’s not like I am shaped like Dolly Parton. My girls are absolutely appropriate for me.

2) Quality

When I buy a suit jacket for $79.50, I do not expect the buttons to fall off the jacket upon the first wearing. When I purchase a pair of pants for $59.50, I do not expect the stitching to unravel or the buttons to loosen after the first washing. When I pay $44.50 for a blouse, I expect it to not show the girls inappropriately as you have marketed it as “office appropriate”. When I pay $69.00 for a gorgeous lace eyelet dress, I do expect some sort of modesty lining or something. For cryin’ out loud, it’s EYELET throughout - which means, you can see every bit unless you have a slip. Let’s not get into the fact that much of the clothing has become more sheer and flimsy. Listen, office wear is for work, not a stripper bar.

3) Pricing

While I appreciate those lovely gift cheques, Real Women Dollars, and sales such as 2 for $59, based on some examples cited above, clearly you are raising the prices entirely too much. Now, stop sputtering and go on a defensive attack - hear me out.

Another manager, in a store in S. Florida (Palm Beach to be exact - I'm not going to be nice and shelter her indiscretions), in attempt to explain the sizing issues, told me that your products are being made in India and Asia. To go even further, she started to say China, but in an attempt to be more ummm.. shall we say PC, she then changed it to Japan. So when you hear “Ch-Japan”, you can figure out that the intent was China. So, knowing that Lane Bryant is selling, let’s say a clothing item like my suit jacket with the crappy buttons for $79.50, let’s break it down.

Note that I'm going to be overly generous here - I'm sure my estimates are leaning more on the high side as evidenced by other stuff we hear on the news. We’ll estimate that the materials are around $4 - 5. (The jacket is not fully lined, it’s not the best of materials but it is better than a jacket you might get at let’s say a discount retailer). We can then estimate that the labor to make said jacket was around $1 or $2. Let’s also factor in 30% for overhead costs (marketing, shipping, etc.) - let’s say $24. So, overall, to be generous, we can say that the total cost of the garment is $31.00. The profit is $48.50 on every $79.50 jacket. What. The. Heck?

Now, I know that many retailers raise the prices for the plus-size market, and my best guess is that your justification for that extra yard (or two) of fabric you feel that you can mark up an item 50-100% of what it would cost a skinny-mini for a similar clothing item, but something needs to change.

4) Credit Cards

I understand that your associates have a daily quota to meet. Now don’t get all cranky and act like I don’t know - because I do. I was there. I remember my “rah-rah” talks by managers to sucker people into opening accounts. I also know what your apparent company does to the credit reports of those that open the accounts. I understand that you offer it to those unwilling customers as an option to get, what is it now - 10% or 15% off of one’s order. HOWEVER, please understand the phrase: No Means No! When you push the issue with me, know that I will loudly explain to anyone within the vicinity “Do you KNOW what that hard credit pull just to get 10-15% off does to one’s credit report? It damages it whether you have good or bad credit” And if other customers in earshot hear me, that’s fabulous - because I’m sure they DON’T know. They might fall prey to that sneaky associate using the line with “I’ll still give you the percentage even if you don’t qualify - don’t you want to save 10% off your order NOW?”

5) Failure to Take Care of Your Customers

I wasn’t going to bring this up, but as we are laying our cards on the table, I feel I need to. When I was in Palm Beach, one customer easily had over $400 worth of items that she was paying for. When she asked if there was a coupon or something that could help her out - the MANAGER and the ASSISTANT MANAGER both said “No, there’s no coupon”. Which, of course, pissed me off to no end and prompted me to get ignorant with Dumb and Dumber (Dumber was the one who told me about the India and Ch-Japan matter). I interrupted Dumb and Dumber with “Yes there IS a coupon - and you know it!” They played ignorant and said there was no coupon for that time period, prompting me to hand back my two sweaters which I was salivating over, and instructed her to return them with the comment “You can put this back - obviously you don’t have enough to do”. I then brandished my coupon in front of Dumb and Dumber and gave it to the woman and then told Dumb and Dumber that it was, indeed, valid and it was sent via email. Obviously her being a manager didn’t know the company enough to know its promotions. The woman saved over $100 with the coupon and the manager aka Dumber, well, she’s just despicable in my book.

So, those are only some of the offenses I've noticed over the past year, Lane Bryant and we should have talked sooner. Now I'm not going to lie. I’ve dallied with other stores and I’ve found them more accommodating, less pushy and priced appropriately for the garments I’m getting. Am I a cheater? I think that’s a relative term because our relationship has been souring for some time. But I did used to think that no other store compared to you, Lane Bryant. Now I see that I was wrong.

So here’s my gentle advice to you Lane Bryant. Implement some procedures to correct the offenses above and you might, just might, have another shot at love. It’s not a promise but I could, perhaps, give a second chance if you REALLY work hard for it. But for now I think we need a trial separation and start seeing other stores.

I’d like us to be friends in the future, but for now we just don’t need to speak. I’m sure you’ll take my words to heart. Because, in all honesty - It’s not me, it’s you.

~Lys

Labels: Fashion, Lane Bryant, Soapbox